I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize