Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
