like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Randomize
