we have officially lost it.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
