singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
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Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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