you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize