If that was your dad, he is hot
Moan for me like Helen Keller
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize