hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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