Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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