New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
