About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize