eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
