It's Friday. Sex?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
