piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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