im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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