i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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