another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
