I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
