Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
