Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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