considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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