"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher