belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.