we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
