Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize