that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
