We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.