READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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