I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
