We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
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We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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