What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize