Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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