The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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