I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
there is glitter all over my balls
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