Me too!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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