It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
