I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
