Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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