so explain again why im purple
no
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
