nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
