i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
