everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You left your phone here
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