haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize