This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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