Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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