her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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