just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize