'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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