just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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