ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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