There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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