i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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