I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
