I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
