I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
