Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize