you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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