well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
