Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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