and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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