I heard we made out
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize